Helen Haynes's Story
My name is Helen and this is my story.
I grew up in the church as a child and have always been aware of God in my life. When i left home and moved around the country I found churches and enjoyed spiritual highs in big Christian conferences and in talking with one or two people of strong faith. Sometimes I felt not especially close to God, but in my experience of grief - losing my Dad - and in difficult times that's when I've felt God to be really close.
Eleven years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer which was a huge shock - it was like being picked up suddenly and dumped in a strange country, I didn't know the geography or where to go in it. Gradually (not straightaway) I came to realise that God was there too, holding my hand - this is a place she knows well.
Last year just as lockdown started I was diagnosed with secondary cancers, so treatment began again. I have felt angry and disappointed about the things I may not be able to do, and grieving because I have had to give up church work and activity - but God has given me a realisation that I can just 'be' in his presence. I am learning to take each day as it comes, enjoy the beauty of nature and each emerging flower. I am seeing blessings from God in being with him and talking to him each day, in the kindness of family and friends and strangers. i don't know what the future holds but I know that God is in this journey with me - holding my hand, covering me with his wings and I will never be separated from him.